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Just When You Think You Might Not Be So Out of Touch…

… someone throws you a reminder.

The AARP has tried this before, but now they’re getting desperate. They’ve sent me letters inviting me to join their organization. Some mailing-list marketer probably got the idea that since I’m no longer employed by an idiot in an office somewhere, I must have retired. I’m neither old enough nor crazy enough for that. (Even if I were “retired,” I’d rather eat fried ants than to join the AARP.) But more to the point…

I’m still working!
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Redefining Marriage?

My father over at his blog posted a two-part series on gay marriage. It started as an initial post called “Redefining Marriage,” which proved controversial enough among his theological colleagues that he felt a need to post part 2 to clarify.

What follows is in reply to part 1.

Same-sex marriage is now a fact of life with state after state endorsing it as a bonafide marriage contract. This has brought me to reconsider the subject hopefully without prejudice and just a soupçon of bias. I have come to the conclusion in studying the, so-called, relevant scripture that God does not approve. But by the same Biblical message I cannot limit God’s grace in matters of the heart. [emphasis in original]

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How I Ended Up in a Messianic Jewish Synagogue

On Friday, I usually post an attempt at humor. (Some times more effective than others.) Today, however, I thought I’d tell the story of how a Gentile pastor’s kid from western Pennsylvania ended up identifying with a Messianic Jewish synagogue.

Firstly, I’m not Jewish. When I was a boy, my father, a pastor, passed on to me (at least in part) his love for the original languages of the Biblical texts along with a healthy respect for Judaism (which at the time I didn’t realize was so unusual or important). He taught me a little Biblical Hebrew (and a bit of Koine Greek).

Then, in my twenties, I married a nice, Jewish girl who believed in Yeshua (which, again, at the time I didn’t realize was so unusual or important). She had been raised Catholic—which is a completely different story that she can tell sometime, if she wants. But she had heard the stories of her family’s nascent Jewish roots.
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Ideas Having Sex

John Stossel recently published a short piece in The Freeman about ideas having sex. This naturally explains the most lucrative business sector ever seen on the Internet: idea porn.

So, when I shared this article on Facebook, and fellow fiction blogger and Star Trek fan Neil Shurley re-shared it, I thought of that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, “Timescape.”

(Not really, but it seemed like a good segue.)

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Accident (and a cute Jewish joke)

Had you seen me a week ago Tuesday morning, you might have thought I had peed my pants, because I had an accident. The kind of accident that involves a car. And bottled water.

I was driving down the highway, when I decided to open my bottle. Stupid, yeah, I know. But My Firstborn was sleeping so soundly in the passenger’s seat, and I didn’t want to wake her.

So I reached over with my right hand, and I started wrestling with the cover. After all, I figured, I’m a young (ish), strong guy; I should be able to undo a water bottle one-handed.
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Feigning Pinterest?

Yes, I’m on Pinterest.

After seeing Facebook posts by Sharon Cathcart, Julie Carobini, Pamela Slim, and probably a few others mentioning Pinterest… (Charlotte Abel also has a Pinterest profile, and I thought I remembered her mentioning it on Facebook, but as it turns out, she didn’t.) After seeing a barrage of Facebook posts mentioning Pinterest, a (male) friend of mine finally suggested that I should probably get a Pinterest profile. So I did… tentatively.

Pinterest, in case you haven’t heard of it before, is a new social media site. Primarily dominated by the fairer sex, it consists of a collection of virtual pinboards, on which you can pin whatever you find interesting. I already have several pinboards:
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Stranger in a Strange Land

This past week, the Little One and I watched “First Contact,” the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. Not the Star Trek movie by the same name, but the series episode, which originally aired exactly 21 years ago this past Saturday.

Also this past Saturday, we read as part of our Torah Parsha: “Do not mistreat or oppress a foreigner, for you were foreigners in Egypt.” (Exodus 22:21) A happy coincidence, as they say, because it gave me the opportunity to write today about how we treat strangers, a topic that I often find on my heart.

If you’ve never seen the episode “First Contact,” here’s how it goes: The Enterprise crew is tasked with making first contact with Malcor, a planet whose inhabitants are about to develop warp drive. Commander Riker is injured while reconnoitering, disguised as a Malcorian, and they take him to a hospital in the capital city. Unfortunately, most Malcorians are very suspicious of outsiders. And as they begin to suspect that Riker is an alien, they begin to see him as a threat, because he may be followed by an invading force.
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Favorite Indie Romances

I wanted to post this on Tuesday, but I was distracted by the recent holiday. Naturally, I’m referring to National Guys in the Floral Department Day.

Every year around this time, if you go into any store with a floral department, you are likely to see a dozen or so men wondering aimlessly in the vicinity, browsing from flower arrangement to flower arrangement, obviously lost but unable to ask for directions.

Why do they do this? Well, it’s the law. And if any man in a relationship of any sort fails at this task, the consequences are serious indeed, let me tell you.

Stores plans for this day, and every year they stock up on pretty young attendants to help out the guys who don’t know what they’re doing. Except for the store that I went to, which had a fat dude telling a pimple-faced guy with a scooter—and this actually happened—that they didn’t have bouquets of roses half red and half pink. Meanwhile, I thought, if he wanted a mixture of red and pink roses for his one true love, he should have gone to a real flower shop and paid more than 20 lousy bucks on an arrangement. Then he could have swept her away on his scooter, fading with her into the horizon and the setting sun.

As for me, I chose a bouquet of a dozen roses for my Beloved, pink blossoms just beginning to brown around the edges.

She loved them, especially the brown spots. Apparently, I have her well-trained to expect almost no attention from me whatsoever. Congratulate me.

(I was just kidding about that last part, in case you couldn’t tell.)

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Teaser Tuesdays: Enchantment (again)

You may recall, I read Enchantment this past summer. And I liked it so much that I decided to include it among my favorite indie romances.

I’m collecting printed editions of these novels into a deluxe package, which I had hoped to make available for Valentine’s Day. (You know, because romance equals Valentine’s.) But I was unable to pull together all the extras in time. So still working on it. For now, here’s…

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Bazooka Nanny: A Political Satire

Now that the presidential election season is upon us, and the political promises are already flowing like diarrhea— from the Greek dia, meaning “through,” and rhea, “the back of the head.”

(That’s a joke, by the way, in case your sense of political humor is deficient, like so many politicians— And there I go again.)

In any case, I’ve really wanted to revive my political blog, but I need to be able to do it in such a way that I won’t go insane.

Nick Gillespie inspired me with a comment he made on John Stossel’s “year in review” show, talking about Reason.tv’s “Nanny of the Month” features and government Nannies: “They see a small problem, and they pull out the bazooka immediately, and it causes real problems.”

Aha! I thought. That would make a perfect satirical character. And maybe I could blow off a little steam and write about politics and not go completely wacky. Wouldn’t that be nice?

So I now present to you…

Bigger than a tall building,
Faster than a light-rail train,
Exploiter of the ignorant, shafter of the hapless,
Wiser than God and richer than you, it’s…
Bazooka Nanny: Government Superhero

Today’s episode: Ugly Wallpaper.

Yes, you do have a right to ugly wallpaper.

-TimK