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Bazooka Nanny: A Political Satire

Now that the presidential election season is upon us, and the political promises are already flowing like diarrhea— from the Greek dia, meaning “through,” and rhea, “the back of the head.”

(That’s a joke, by the way, in case your sense of political humor is deficient, like so many politicians— And there I go again.)

In any case, I’ve really wanted to revive my political blog, but I need to be able to do it in such a way that I won’t go insane.

Nick Gillespie inspired me with a comment he made on John Stossel’s “year in review” show, talking about Reason.tv’s “Nanny of the Month” features and government Nannies: “They see a small problem, and they pull out the bazooka immediately, and it causes real problems.”

Aha! I thought. That would make a perfect satirical character. And maybe I could blow off a little steam and write about politics and not go completely wacky. Wouldn’t that be nice?

So I now present to you…

Bigger than a tall building,
Faster than a light-rail train,
Exploiter of the ignorant, shafter of the hapless,
Wiser than God and richer than you, it’s…
Bazooka Nanny: Government Superhero

Today’s episode: Ugly Wallpaper.

Yes, you do have a right to ugly wallpaper.

-TimK

Favorite Holiday TV Episodes

Every year around this time, everyone begins talking about Christmas movies that we’ve all seen, some dozens of times. But when NetFlix began highlighting not only Christmas movies but also TV episodes, I began putting together my own list of some of my favorite holiday episodes. (Many of them you can see via NetFlix online streaming.)

In no particular order…
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On the First Day of Hanukkah…

In our house, we light the traditional Hanukkah candles, as we did last night, lighting the first candle and singing the blessings of the first night of Hanukkah. And we give gifts for the kids each night; not expensive presents like they’re likely to get from their grandparents on Christmas, but small, fun gifts to enjoy for the evening.

Last night, they got a gingerbread house, which they promptly decorated and then devoured. Yum.

But Hanukkah and Christmas have a deeper connection than just gift-giving and sweets. And the fact that they both begin on the 25th of the month— Hanukkah begins on the 25th of Kislev, and Christmas falls on the 25th of December.
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Software Development: a Love-Hate Relationship

I wasn’t intending to post anything today. As I promised yesterday, I wrote this morning until 9 AM, but not a post on this blog. (Instead, I made progress on a longer piece for my Ardor Point site.)

And then I caught up on a comment thread between Darryl (whom I don’t think I know) and David (whom I do know, in real life), comments on a post about what’s wrong with the software industry.

And I began writing a short follow-up to their comments. And I discovered that I had used up over an hour, and it was turning into a 500-word post of its own– I so miss writing! But I also am discovering that I still love software development, when it’s done right.
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Baptism of Chaos and the Writer’s Soul

I’ve been going through a baptism of chaos. Been working on a summer software-development project–summer turning into autumn–a project with too many harrowing twists and a too-soon, hard deadline.

I’ve been putting into this project as many hours as I can fit, plus some that I can’t. Because I need to earn enough money to buy a new car (or at least a new-for-me car). Because my old Saturn no longer drives, and will never drive again. (That’s a long and amusing story, which I absolutely have to tell in another post. I have pictures, too.)

I have a daughter to drive to school in the morning and pick up in the afternoon. That’s the only family responsibility I have consistently respected. That doesn’t stop people from asking favors. Everybody wants a piece of me.

Life has been so hectic that I haven’t had time to breathe.
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Teaser Tuesdays: Enchantment, by Charlotte Abel

Sixteen year old Channie Kerns leads an idyllic life of magic, deep in the Ozark Mountains, until her family is forced to flee from a powerful rival who wants them all murdered. They leave everything and everyone behind, uproot their lives, change their names, and disappear to Louisville, Colorado. But when her parents catch Channie flirting with a group of “sex-crazed,” non-magical, city boys, they slap a powerful chastity spell on her to protect her virtue. And the spell has side-effects no one expected. Then Channie begins to fall in love with Josh Abrim, a BMX racer with dangerous secrets of his own. She rebels against her parents and turns to dark and forbidden magic to break the chastity spell, with disastrous results.

In the spirit of full disclosure—and a little bragging—I discovered Enchantement when Charlotte Abel commented on BeTheStory.com: ‘If the early reviews for “Enchantment” are any indication, I’d have to say “we” nailed it. I’m including you in that “we” because it was your article that gave me the courage to write what was in my heart.’ That’s when I began to suspect that I might like this book. And I was right.
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What a Disappointment: Crony Capitalism and the Religious Right

As you may recall, I’m a friend neither of crony capitalism nor of the religious right.

I hate crony capitalism, because it corrupts honest people just trying to run honest businesses and do an honest day’s work. That’s one of the reasons, I think, why everyone loves the “free market” but despises “capitalism.”

And when it comes to Christian politics, if Jesus were here preaching today— He wouldn’t be preaching by the seashore, of course. But on his YouTube channel, I think he’d more often support the ACLU than the ACLJ. And when challenged by James Dobson and Roberta Combs—as he was challenged by the Sadducees and Pharisees—he’d probably say something about giving unto Obama that which is Obama’s, and giving unto God that which is God’s.

So when a friend sent out a link to this piece on the Psychology Today website, entitled “The Unseen Influence of the Religious Right,” I was truly hoping for some solid ammunition.

Instead, I read the whole thing, and all I got was this stinkin’ blog post.
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Once you’ve walked in my shoes…

A friend of mine remarked today (in a private online forum), “Once you’ve walked in the shoes I walk in, live the life I live, and feel the pain I feel, then you can judge me.”

This is a common sentiment, which has inspired some powerful stories, and which inspired some involved thoughts of my own (at almost one in the morning). I gather that this anonymous quote has been floating around the Internet. There’s a lot stuffed into that single, pithy thought. I’m not sure I buy into all of it. So I felt compelled to write this short note, expounding what I think is an important truth.
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I Can Do All Things… (on Philippians 4:13)

Apparently this week’s most favorite misunderstood bible quote, I’ve run into it multiple times recently, from multiple sources:

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

(Philippians 4:13 NIV)

What an empowering thought. Isn’t it great that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to, through God’s strength? Bzzt. Wrong! What Paul is talking about here involves much more depth, a much more profound message.

In uncertain times such as these, we seek to be empowered. Because with power comes control and certainty. World and national events sometimes make us feel as though life is slipping away from us. Wars on one side, injustice on the other, and economic tornadoes touching down right over our heads. We fear for our lives, our families, and our communities, and we may even feel these slipping away from us. And we react, as all humans do, to reassert ourselves over our environment, to try to maintain personal empowerment in the midst of circumstances we have no control over.
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Three Kinds of Love

This is so très kewl!

I was watching on NetFlix a Discovery Channel documentary, The Science of Sex Appeal… research for my next novel.

Anyhow, at one point during the program, anthropologist Helen Fisher said:

I think that we’ve evolved three distinctly different brain systems for love. One is the sex drive, the craving for sexual gratification, associated with testosterone in both men and women. The other is romantic love, that elation, the focused attention, the obsessive thinking of early love. And the third is attachment, that sense of calm and security you can feel for a long-term partner.

(Helen Fisher is the author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love and other titles.)

So why is this so très kewl?
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