J. Timothy King’s Blog

A Leader You Are, Not What You Are Called

(This is the first in a series I call “Tales of a Wanna-Be Software Manager.” In this category, I’ll post personal stories and lessons I learn on my journey to better leadership.)

I never thought I’d want to be a manager. In fact, I don’t want to be a “manager.” I don’t want to spend all of my time administering the people who do all the interesting, creative work. But I’ve been filling more leadership roles in my life: where I work, where I worship, even in my family. And I want to do more of that. I want to be a team lead.

So what does that mean? It does not mean being in charge. And this fact is actually what makes me long to fill that position.

Being in charge does not make you a leader. I started learning this as soon as I became a father. Being able to set the rules and enforce them didn’t make anyone actually listen to me. I found that parental discipline isn’t about the ability to administer punishment so much as it is about teaching and respect. So in my studies to become a manager, I’ve been practicing effective management techniques on my kids.

Being in charge does not make you a leader. This is even more true in a church. I am a musician and worship leader at my church. Churches are non-profit organizations staffed largely by volunteers. They can’t be fired, because they’re not being paid. As a church leader, if you try to push them, they’re more likely to disappear than to do what you want. If you want them to go all out, you have to engage them, involve them, and get them excited. Over the years, I’ve seen both happen, and I’ve done both.

Then there’s my employ. As a senior software engineer, there are plenty of opportunities for me to take a leadership role. In a small company—the only kind I love—there’s always more work to do than there is time in which to do it. And there is always a leadership vacuum, no matter how great the managers of the company are. So there are opportunities to engage the other engineers, to prompt innovative solutions, to take the team culture in a new direction, to mentor more junior engineers. I get little credit for any of this, but I don’t care. I’m making a difference.

That’s really what it boils down to: making a difference. The more I think about it, the more I conclude, it really doesn’t matter whether I’m officially a “team lead.” Because a leader is something you are, not something your company calls you.

-TimK