The Dr. House Drinking Game

House M.D. is indeed one of the best shows on TV. Like many others, I enjoy watching it. And to increase my enjoyment of the show even more, I started a House Drinking Game. With the help of others, inlcuding Jim “Suldog” Sullivan and Digg user toxicredm, I now present:

The Dr. House Drinking Game

I’ve actually tried this game, and it is enough to get you a good buzz watching an average episode of House. In fact, it may be a bit too much. 🙂


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Every time there is sexual tension between two characters, take a drink for every doctor involved.
Every time Dr. House makes a comment about Dr. Cuddy’s boobs, take a drink.
Every time it’s not lupus, take a drink.
Every time someone has daddy issues, take a drink.
When Gregory House pops a Vicodin, take a drink. If he goes the entire episode without popping Vicodin, take three.
Every time someone makes a current events or pop culture reference, take a drink (e.g. RIAA, Pink Floyd)

Every time House sends one of his staff to inspect a patient’s dwelling place for toxins, take a drink.

Every time House makes an insensitive racial remark to Forman, take a drink.

Well, shoot, you already had the “inspect the patient’s house” thing, didn’t you? Sorry!

Some more good ones. Editing the post…


Of course, you could also reverse one of them: Every time Dr. House takes a drink, pop a Vicodin.



When I was in college, we had a drinking game called “Hi Bob”. It was an elegantly simple game, and you played by watching reruns of the old Bob Newhart show.

Every time a character said “Hi Bob”, you had to take a drink. Devastating.

Every time House has a revelation about the diagnosis, chug until the revelation scene is over.

take a drink for every time house bounces a ball against a wall , 2 if he does it lacross style with his cane

every time he writes on the white board
every time they say metacarple
every time he puts his feet up on someone elses desk
every time he steals someone’s food
every time he darts his eyes back and fourth
every time he days “shccccccsh…ouch”
every time house leaves the hospital to think
every time a high wide aerial shot of the hospital is on screen

Every time House says “differential diagnosis people…”.
Every time one of House’s team think its “pereneial plastic syndrome”(sp?).
Every time they think it’s an auto-immune disorder.

Drink every time someone performs a lumbar puncture, double if its referred to as an ‘LP’.
Drink if the person who gets sick in the opening scene isn’t who you thought it would be.

You forgot a few:

Take a drink when-

Dr. Wilson psychoanalyzes house.
Dr. Forman suggests the disease is neurological
House lets you know he’s an atheist.
Someone rags on Chase for being young.
Someone tells House he should lay of the vicodin.

Take 4 when –
The patient doesn’t make it.
House shows human compassion.


Take a drink when House uses his cane for something other than walking.
Take a drink when House looks at porn, mentions porn or hookers.

Every time they do a Lumbar Puncture take a drink and every time he steals food from wilson take a drink

Edit to my last post You Drink twice if he steals food from wilson

Wow…….Im suprised no one came up with this one yet, but…….I just got wasted by drinking everytime the word infection came up……..try it…..bring lots of beer!!!!!!

[…] Be the Story is the blog of J. Timothy King, a fiction writer who mainly self-publishes e-books. The posts focus on fiction and often cover King’s thoughts on different books and movies. He often posts humorous or light pieces such as The Dr. House Drinking Game. […]

Everytime someone posits “vasculitis”, take a drink.

Everytime someone posits “sarcoidosis”, take a drink.

Everytime House walks without his cane, unless it’s during the story arc about his condition improving, take a drink.

If the main patient dies, take a drink. If the main patient dies but a life is saved because or despite it, take two drinks. If two lives are lost, even if one is an animal, take 3 drinks. And if an animal dies (or death in implied) as a direct result of treating a patient, and the patient lives, take 4 drinks and you are forbidden from taking any other drinks for the rest of the show.

When House plays piano, take a drink. If the piece is classical, take two drinks. When House plays guitar, take a drink. When he plays air guitar or air keyboards, or uses his cane as a guitar, take two drinks.

When House plays a record on his SOTA turntable, take a drink. Take two if he’s listening on headphones. Take three drinks if he uses a different turntable.

When you hear the words, “Cutthroat Bitch”, take a drink. Take two if you read it on his caller ID.

Take a drink when House blackmails someone. Take two when House gets blackmailed.

Take a drink when you see an MRI machine. Monitors or transparencies don’t count. The patient must be on the MRI table.

Everytime they drill into someone’s skull, take a drink. Take two if the patient remains awake.

Take a drink everytime Dr. Cameron leaves House’s office only to stop at the door and look over her right shoulder with a scowl on her face and then walks out without a word.

Take a drink everytime Cuddy alludes to playing golf.

Everytime they suck out a clot, take a drink.

everytime House makes you laugh, you drink all thats left in your cup

Take a drink everytime someone’s heart stops and a drink everytime they use the paddles of them.
Take a drink everytime a baby dies including unborn babies.
Take a drink when someone gets their feelings hurt by House. Insults that have no real affect don’t count.
Take a drink everytime House does something illegal.
Take a drink everytime House gets pissed.
Take a drink everytime someone gets pissed and yells and/or hits House.
Take a drink everytime House thinks the patient is lying.
Take a drink whenever House proves a patient lied.
Take a drink whenever House lies to a patient.
Take a drink whenever House mentions something about Wilson’s ex’s.
Take a drink whenever someone has a seizure.
Take a drink everytime House insults or mocks someones religion, race, weight, height, or sexual preference.

My alltime favorites part of the drinking game is:
Take a drink everytime House pops a vicodine.
Take a vicodine everytime House drinks.
I’ve also seen
Take a vicodine everytime House does.
Let me tell yea I was thinking “Holy shit this game will kill ya!”

I’d add take a drink every time they treat for something new despite having no clear diagnosis. Take two if they say something to the effect of “It beats just sitting here and watching the patient die!”

Take a drink every time someone has a seizure, attack, etc. while IN the MRI machine. Am I the only one who has noticed this?

Everytime House does something so outrageous/incredibly illegal everyone stares at him in shock, take a drink for each shocked expression.

Everytime House gets assaulted by a patient/relative of a patient.

i was thinking take two drinks when anyone says they need to administer adavan

Everytime thirteen suggests auto-immune and is wrong

sorry but this is a bit dumb. seeing how one this is a BIG list, and yeah show do thing the same alot. house is not even one of the biggest ones, that do this. should we take a drink every time Barny from how i met your mother makes a dirty pun, or gets laid? i could go on, and yes i know this is for fun but. find something more out there with there sameness.

Can no one have said anything about House getting insight from something trivial that Wilson says, where the pattern lets House resolve the diagnosis?? One drink every time this happens. Two drinks if it happens and Wilson makes a remark about it. If House gets the idea from someone else, eat some cookie dough.

Everytime House is a legend down the bottle.

And how about every time House manipulates Cuddy into okaying a biopsy of the patient’s brain? Pointless to add a drink for every time the biopsy clarifies nothing, because it never does.

…and every time the patient seizes/goes into xyz arrest/ codes in some fashion in the MRI tube. Why anyone consents to get an MRI in that hospital, I will never know.

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