Baptism of Chaos and the Writer’s Soul

I’ve been going through a baptism of chaos. Been working on a summer software-development project–summer turning into autumn–a project with too many harrowing twists and a too-soon, hard deadline.

I’ve been putting into this project as many hours as I can fit, plus some that I can’t. Because I need to earn enough money to buy a new car (or at least a new-for-me car). Because my old Saturn no longer drives, and will never drive again. (That’s a long and amusing story, which I absolutely have to tell in another post. I have pictures, too.)

I have a daughter to drive to school in the morning and pick up in the afternoon. That’s the only family responsibility I have consistently respected. That doesn’t stop people from asking favors. Everybody wants a piece of me.

Life has been so hectic that I haven’t had time to breathe.

One of my real-life acquaintances who also blogs, she’s been going through her own little baptism of chaos.

I have been thinking today about focus and reminding myself that it is a choice to focus on the chaos of life or to enjoy the moments of beauty in life. Both are there for the taking. Its all in how I choose to receive it.

When she wrote those words, I missed it. I read that post, but I missed the message, which God obviously intended for me.

Fortunately, she tried again the following week, speaking of the link between the physical and emotional:

I have become unbalanced over the last year with my focus more on the left brain. Back to work, kids at school, life if busy and full. Time for my yoga practice seemed to slip away… Without my yoga practice, I cannot easily remain in the present moment. Present is where I strive to be, it’s where I can experience joy and appreciate the beauty in life.

I guess God knew that he needed to talk to me as a character author in order for me to get it.

For her it’s yoga. For me, it’s writing. I’ve been wondering whether I still have it in me to write, because for the past 3 months I have not been a writer. And I’ve missed it. I’ve lost a piece of myself, lost my creative soul, and in the process lost touch with the world around me.

So for the rest of this project and going forward–and today is the first day–first thing in the morning, instead of going directly to programming, I’m writing until 9 AM. That’s not much, but it’s something, an attempt to get back in touch with my writer’s soul.

Please, wish me luck.