No Surprises, Until…

I just received the funniest credit-card offer ever!

Ever since my Beloved got us a membership in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, I’ve been listening to him way too much. And proof that I’m listening to him way too much is that I’m starting to think of jokes that he might make. And I also imagine myself writing this with a vaguely southern accent.

So I get home this afternoon, and there, in my mail, lying on my so-needs-a-visit-from-a-vacuum-cleaner rug, is proof that the economy must be turning around.

Yes, I’m referring to the bane of all junk mail: a credit-card offer.

Are you freakin’ kidding me!? I recently paid off one, and finally just got over the emotional hurdle of filing my last one in the rectangular file. I so do not want another one. And if you know anything about Dave Ramsey, I’d like to think he’d be proud.

But what really got me about this credit-card offer was the teaser emblazoned on front of the envelope: “You’re Pre-Selected for the card with no surprises!

They’re referring to the promise that there will be no surprises of the sort, like, you get your bill and discover that they’ve suddenly increased your interest rate to 30% because you were late with a payment. On this card, they say, your rate will not go up, even if you “miss a payment.” I’m not sure whether to believe them or not, but I haven’t read through the full contents of the envelope, and I don’t really care to.

Because when I read that teaser: “You’re Pre-Selected for the card with no surprises!

All I could think was: “Yeah, until you one day open your bill and discover that you’ve charged up the damn thing to $12,000, and you don’t remember how that happened.”

I’ve done that at least 3 times, on the same card no less… another story.

No more credit cards for me. Sorry guys. Find another sucker.

Have a great weekend!