Hope, Love, and Peace

Thoughts of speaker and author J. Timothy King

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Depression and the Software Developer: Smiling in the Piss Pot

By J. Timothy King on July 5, 2012

Happy Smiley Face from Urine Samples
Photo © 2011 epSos.de CC BY 2.0
Click here for original image.

Developing software is supposed to be one of the best jobs available, because it uses creativity, and it requires professional independence. And those software jobs are out there. But some of us are not currently working one of those jobs.

In early 2009, I wrote a post entitled “7 Best Things About Being a Consulting Software Developer.” In that post, I talked about how the world does not end just because I had one really, really bad job (or a whole string of them, as the case was). I should have listened to myself. That project I talked about in that post was the NOKWID project, which I told about in the previous part of this series. (So named because No One Knew What It Did.) This is the project that threw me into a deep depression, a hopeless depression, the straw that broke this camel’s back, which no amount of positive thinking could make up for. Continue reading “Depression and the Software Developer: Smiling in the Piss Pot”

Posted in Confessions of a Veteran Software Developer, Software Development, Stories, True Stories | Tagged biography, depression, programming, software engineering, stress | 1 Response

Independence Day Is Here!

By J. Timothy King on July 4, 2012

Fireworks on the Lake (July 4, 2000)

When July 4 rolls around, I always feel like we’re well into summer. Of course, summer began just a week and a half ago.

I’m up at my in-laws’ camp on the lake today, family visiting with family. A comforting, cool breeze is blowing off the lake. And even though it may sprinkle a little later, right now, the sun is shining through a moderate cloud cover. Relaxing. Should be fun.

(BTW, there isn’t going to be an official fireworks display today. This year, it’s postponed for a few weeks, because of the schedule of the company that sponsors it. We’re all planning to get together again then. The photo above I included simply because, well, I wanted to include a photo, and that seemed a decent one for a fourth-of-July-themed post.)

My Beloved and I took our honeymoon here, almost 20 years ago now. (That’s a different story.) And this site served as partial inspiration for the Chase’s cabin at Ardor Point, in From the Ashes of Courage. That is, while I was writing those scenes, I imagined them happening here.

I’ll try to post some photos on a pinboard — Actually… [sound of web pages flipping]… There. I just created a pinboard for July 4, 2012. I’ll pin some photos there when I can.

UPDATE: I pinned some of my favorite photos on Pinterest. But you can see a whole album full on my Facebook profile.

Tomorrow, I’ll publish the “Depression and the Software Developer” post (but an encouraging one this time!) that would normally go up on a Wednesday.

Here’s hoping you’re having a wonderful Fourth of July!

-TimK

Posted in Ardor Point, Books, Family | Tagged July 4 | 1 Response

Teaser Tuesdays: Minerva Wakes, by Holly Lisle

By J. Timothy King on July 3, 2012

Last night, the Little One begged me to read with her. Since she’s become a teenager, it’s been a while. She highly recommended Minerva Wakes, by Holly Lisle, which she had read before but which she wanted to read again.

(Our copy is falling apart, and I should probably find another to replace it.)

I wasn’t planning on starting another book right now, as I’m in the middle of several others. But looking for a story we could share… This was probably the best option.

It’s a story about a tired housewife, Minerva, and her husband, Darryl, who are having problems. Or at least they think they’re having problems, until a blue wraith kidnaps their three children. Then they really start having problems. Continue reading “Teaser Tuesdays: Minerva Wakes, by Holly Lisle”

Posted in Teaser Tuesdays | Tagged Holly Lisle, Minerva Wakes

The Myth of Depression

By J. Timothy King on July 2, 2012

Photo © 2009 disenoterapia CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Click here for original image.

As you may remember, after the NOKWID project several years ago, I crashed, hard, spent several months deep in depression. And I just now finally feel like I’ve climbed out of that hole, a hole I had ironically dug for myself.

I felt forever tired, forever useless, forever a burden on my family. Nothing gave me pleasure, no joy, no motivation, and I didn’t care. At one point, I even contemplated what steps I would need to take in order to make a strategic exit from this life. (Fortunately, there were too many steps, too complicated.) Oy vey! It makes sense that a demoralizing job might get me down. But that’s supposed to be temporary, not life-destroying.

Then, through the work of Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell, I found I could take steps toward rediscovering the joy and motivation I had lost from my life. Continue reading “The Myth of Depression”

Posted in Health, Mental Health, Personal Improvement | Tagged depression, Ivan Tyrrell, Joe Griffin, psychology

I So Suck (and 3,000 naked people)

By J. Timothy King on June 29, 2012

Photo © 2009 Tambako the Jaguar CC BY-ND 2.0
Click here for the original image.

I suck at a lot of things. For example, keeping a schedule. Or finishing what I’ve started.

For example, I started this post last June, with the deeply insightful sentence, “foo bar baz qux quux.” It’s taken me that long to get from there to this point.

So… I originally had no idea what to post today. But I wanted to post something, because (as you may have figured out) that’s my new shtick (again).

And then I thought I could post spry and witty comments on my favorite, most memorable X-Files episodes (which could be really spooky and fun). But then I found out there are 40 of them (seriously), some more memorable than others, and I couldn’t re-watch all those episodes (much less think up spry and witty comments regarding all of them) before 10AM this morning. So I need to trim down that list a bit; that’s a longer-term project.

And then I went back into the list of old drafts, ideas, and whatnot, and I found a couple of hilarious unfinished posts about stupid software (which at the time I did not intend to be funny at all, but deadly serious). I could combine them into a new post mocking the software industry (or at least parts of it). However, that would be way more appropriate for next Friday, as I’ve planned next week around a long-overdue (uplifting) epilogue to my “Depression and the Software Developer” series.

Sigh. Continue reading “I So Suck (and 3,000 naked people)”

Posted in Humor | Tagged John Heald | 1 Response

Bits & Pieces 2012-06-28

By J. Timothy King on June 28, 2012

Links and things that I’ve run across recently.

Even a Quasi-Government Agency Occasionally Does Something Right

True story:

Waiting in line at the post office, thinking I should probably see if I can buy stamps online and just have them delivered. Finally got to the front of the line.

“I need a book of stamps,” I said.

“You’re in luck!” said the woman behind the counter, grinning ear-to-ear. “We have those!” Fetched one from a nearby drawer.

“Excellent!” I said. “I thought you might.”

Never got around to checking for that online thing.

Black Bear, Black Bear, Where Have You Been?

We had a little excitement here in the Boston area, as a wild black bear made its way through Medfield, Norwood, Dedham, Needham, Newton, and into Brookline. Continue reading “Bits & Pieces 2012-06-28”

Posted in Bits & Pieces | Tagged Amy Sherman-Palladino, black bear, Brookline Bear, Dave Ramsey, David McCullough, Facebook, Financial Peace University, military, Perry Marshall, Starbucks, Suldog, The Return of Jezebel James, urban legends, USPS | 1 Response

Running for God

By J. Timothy King on June 27, 2012

Harold Abrahams winning the 100M in 1924

I was only a boy when Chariots of Fire first hit the silver screen. I remember watching it with my parents— This is long before Internet streaming or NetFlix or DVDs, and video-tape machines were even still pretty expensive, and films were not released for home viewing as they usually are today. So imagine how impressed I was when I recently streamed it via Netflix and remembered so many of the significant scenes and lines.

This classic film tells the story of two Olympic runners, one a Jew, Harold Abrahams, the other a Christian, Eric Liddell. In the story, Liddell is the one who puts God first. A missionary to China, he refuses to run on Sunday, the Christian Sabbath, because the Sabbath is sanctified. And that did happen in real life, though not quite as dramatically as portrayed in the movie. He also finds importance in his running, even though he doesn’t see it as his ultimate calling: “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” This is one of the most memorable statements that the writers put into Eric Liddell’s mouth, and for good reason, as it turns the tables on what Christians usually think of as the work of God. We understand that preaching in China is God’s work, but how can God use an activity so mortal as running?

As a teen, I wrestled with this issue, but I didn’t get it. I loved developing software, but I didn’t see how God could use me in that occupation. Maybe if I wrote a computer program that helped introduce people to the idea of salvation… because I believed the most important things in life were about spiritual salvation, and the way to bring God’s purpose into your life was to orient it in that direction.

Harold Abrahams, meanwhile, drives himself to win, by any means possible within the rules. He values his Jewish identity, but we never see him wear a kippah. We never see him in shul. In fact, he uses an awful lot of words of dialogue just trying to fit in as an Englishman, because loathsome attitudes against Jews is an emotional burden against which he wrestles. While he never denies his Jewish heritage, he is the kind of Jew we today would call “secular.” Ultimately, Abrahams falls in love with a Christian girl. And that, too, did happen in real life, though not exactly as portrayed in the movie. In real life, he converted to Catholicism just as the Nazis were coming into power, and then he met Sybil Evers, who would become his wife.

So we have two stereotypes here. One is of the Christian who pursues God’s spiritual eternity, but sees God’s hand even in the mortal activities of life. The other is of the Jew who pursues success in this life, though with honesty and a steel-hard work ethic. The strength of these stereotypes are no doubt one of the reasons Chariots of Fire is so famous a film. But these stereotypes radically oversimplify the truth of the differences between Jews and Christians. It’s a truth I believe both sides can benefit from, but I want to look at it from the Christian perspective. Continue reading “Running for God”

Posted in Christianity, Religion | Tagged soteriology, spirituality | 2 Responses

Teaser Tuesdays: Abandon, a short story by Missy Frye

By J. Timothy King on June 26, 2012

The Internet is a wonderful thing. With the proliferation of ebooks, authors can publish their shorter works economically. And they do. So it dawned on me that I should probably choose one of the many short stories I have read for one of these Tuesdays’ snippets.

So I am, “Abandon”, a short story by Missy Frye, a tale about a woman who renews her sense of adventure after an unexpected encounter with a performing rock star. Continue reading “Teaser Tuesdays: Abandon, a short story by Missy Frye”

Posted in Teaser Tuesdays | Tagged Abandon, Missy Frye | 4 Responses

A Crazy Cat Story

By J. Timothy King on June 25, 2012

When my Beloved and I went over to our friends’ apartment to pick up Tessie-cat (then only a Tessie-kitten) in early 1994, we found her cowering behind a couch.

Now, over 18 years later, she still loves couches, but now mostly as a place to sleep, all day, every day. Those of us who are wise in our old age all learn to chill out.

My friend, Dave—not his real name, but the same “Dave” as in the Love-Idiot book— Dave and his bride had brought home a pair of 2½-month-old kittens, both beautiful, jet-black sisters. One they adopted and named Nikki. The other we adopted, and we named her Tessie. Continue reading “A Crazy Cat Story”

Posted in True Stories | Tagged cats, Cheech, Tessie | 2 Responses

The Man With the Scary Scissors

By J. Timothy King on June 22, 2012

Dave Ramsey wielding his infamous scissors

I think this is the last Dave Ramsey story I’ll tell for a little while. (Or at least the last big one.) But I have to at least tell this one, because I’ve already told it to several friends, several times, and it’s turned out to be a hoot.

Dave Ramsey is famous for cutting up credit cards on stage. And for using the word “stupid” repeatedly during the process. And this is a story of the first credit card I ever had. I had gotten it while still a teenager, through a deal with AAA. And I still had that credit card years after I had dropped AAA. I kept it after the account had been sold to MBNA—Yikes!—and finally to Bank of America—Crikey! I charged up that card, and paid it down, and charged it up again, and paid it back down, and charged it up— like a freakin’ yoyo. That poor card was so tired, I had put it through so much: it had a dog-ear in one corner and a tear on the opposite one. But it kept going, and I kept it around, for “emergencies.”

(You can see where this story is going, right?) Continue reading “The Man With the Scary Scissors”

Posted in Humor, Stories, True Stories | Tagged credit cards, Dave Ramsey, finances, Financial Peace University, money, photos | 3 Responses

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