Browse: Page 34
By J. Timothy King on November 6, 2009
I was watching an old Columbo episode, “Etude in Black,” in which conductor Alex Benedict murders his star pianist Jenifer Welles, to prevent her from revealing their secret love affair.
As a musician myself, and knowing a little something about the piano, I thought it might be fun to rewrite one of the scenes of this episode, thusly:
Columbo: I’m very upset by this Jenifer Welles thing.
Alex Benedict: Yes. So am I.
Columbo: You know I was up half the night. I couldn’t sleep. I kept going over it in my mind. I couldn’t figure it out: why, why, why would a girl like this, young, beautiful, talented girl with everything to live for, why does she take her life like that? Continue reading “Etude in Black and White”
Posted in Humor | Tagged Columbo, Music, piano
By J. Timothy King on November 4, 2009
According to my writing spreadsheet, I’m on track to finish NaNoWriMo, but I’ll need to come up with more scenes in the novel. I’m averaging 616 words per scene, which is around half what I had originally estimated. Not a problem, because I have a number of additional, unplanned scenes already on the back burner, as well as several related side stories that can be developed to enhance the main story.
I’m also discovering that this story is emotionally exhausting to write, because it’s such a powerful story. This is the first story I’ve written in which I really think I can empathize with my female point-of-view character. In the past, I’ve written female POV characters by imagining a situation that would make me as a man feel and think similarly to my female character, and then translate. But that trick can only take you so far. Eventually, you run into situations that have no analogue in the opposite sex. At that point, you simply have to put yourself in your female (or if you’re a woman, male) character’s shoes, and write what she experiences and what she feels. Continue reading “Anybody Go to BU? (and NaNoWriMo Update)”
Posted in Ardor Point, Books, Writing | Tagged NaNoWriMo
By J. Timothy King on October 30, 2009
(This is part 2 of a roast of the Boston driver. Click here for part 1.)
Sign for a rotary in Jamaica Plain. © 2007 "Kingdafy" on flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
The situation is exacerbated at rotaries. For those of you who may not be familiar with the Boston rotary, it is a complex, multilateral intersecting way, with no stop signs, at which everyone goes at the same time, and the biggest vehicle always wins. This is why so many Boston drivers, especially those from the suburbs, drive SUV’s.
A rotary usually has three to five entrances, and up to 30 exits, depending on how many times you go around before getting dizzy. This is usually only a problem for out-of-towners, who get on a rotary and then frequently get lost. So they go around and around and around, always looking for the right exit to take, but never finding it. I once heard of a man from Nebraska who couldn’t find his way off a Boston rotary and continued driving around it until he grew old and died.
Then there are traffic signals. Continue reading “Driving in Boston 2”
Posted in Humor | Tagged Boston, driving, New England |
By J. Timothy King on October 29, 2009
Photo © 2007 “spinster” on Flickr CC BY-NC 2.0
I’ve been absent here, because I’m working on a new novel. After collecting mounds of marketing data, I’ve discovered that I absolutely must write Confessions of a Veteran Software Developer— That’s not a novel, but a true story of my years as a professional software developer. However, I have to find a new title. (Apparently, lots of people love the concept, but no one—and I mean literally no one—cares for the title.) So I have to write Confessions, but I can’t yet, because I’m still planning that book.
Another thing I discovered is that when it comes to fiction, it really doesn’t matter what I write. Really. At some point, it probably will matter, because I’ll have fans that expect certain characteristics from my books. But for now, if I wan’t to be a novelist, the first thing I believe I have to do is to write like Nora Roberts (or Danielle Steel). That is, I don’t have to write the same kind of material they do—Thank God! But I need to write as prolifically as they, or at least as close as I can get.
Nora Roberts has published 211 books over the past 28 years, about one book every 7 weeks. Danielle Steel works at a similar pace.
I have quite a bit of catching up to do. Continue reading “Finding the Answer to the Meaning of Life”
Posted in Ardor Point, Books, Inspiration, Writing | Tagged human needs, meaning, psychology, spirituality
By J. Timothy King on October 23, 2009
© 2006 Josh Ward CC BY 2.0
Nothing requires so keen a notice, so focused a concentration, so large and intimidating a vehicle, as does driving in Boston.
When we first moved to Boston from western Pennsylvania, we were both intrigued and horrified to see public roadways under construction, with potholes dug the size of the Great Lakes and manhole covers raised as tall as Flathead Mesa. Well, since I was just a boy at the time, maybe the potholes and manhole covers seemed a little bigger than they actually were. But the roads were conspicuously marked with signs–and this is actually true–“Danger! Proceed at your own risk!” Well, perhaps the signs didn’t have exclamation points, but they might as well have, because they made me feel as though we were about to drive off the edge of the continent and might fall into the ocean. (I had heard that Boston was close to the ocean.)
(As I’m sure someone is going to mention, these signs are only posted in some areas on New England, such as Connecticut. In the Boston area, the roads and construction and possibility for automobile damage is the same, but the explicit warning is missing.)
I recall my father oh so cautiously proceeding down these roadways, carefully weaving between potholes and manhole covers, the tires grinding against the unfinished roadway as we putted down this dangerous avenue. Meanwhile, the native Bostononians flew by us at highway speed, cursing us as they went, clearly unafraid of falling into the ocean. But then again, having grown up in the area, they probably intuitively knew where the edge was.
That was almost 25 years ago, and since then I’ve gotten my own genuine Massachusetts driver’s license, learned how to navigate the roads here, and even how to assert myself behind the wheel of a car. And in the process, in all my years of driving in the Boston area, I’ve only gotten into five accidents. Continue reading “Driving in Boston”
Posted in Humor | Tagged Boston, driving, New England |
By J. Timothy King on October 22, 2009
Final, assembled Antec Veris case, with the drive from the OneTouch inside.
It’s turning out to be another of those weeks, when I get very little accomplished. I completed a couple posts scheduled for the next couple weeks, and tomorrow will be posted the first part of a 2-part humorous series, a roast of the Boston driver. And I also picked up writing a novel I began several months ago, which I had shelved because of an irreconcilable plot issue that I needed to resolve. Having resolved the issue, I updated the story outline, began revising the zero-draft (the extended outline), and I may even work on this novel for NaNoWriMo this year.
But other than that, I spent the week doing lots that accomplished very little: Continue reading “Another One of Those Weeks”
Posted in Technology, Writing | Tagged Antec, hard drive, Maxtor OneTouch, SATA
By J. Timothy King on October 16, 2009
Proof that God has a sense of humor is that he created cats.
We share our apartment with a sleek, black cat, whom we call “Tessie,” a high-strung Burmese (or something thereabouts). I call her my Spooky Cat, because she has always been terrified of any living creature, and a few dead ones.
When we went to pick her up, to take her home, she was hiding behind the couch. Her sister Nicki, just as sleek and just as black, was hobnobbing it up with everyone in the kitchen. My friend Dave and I—not his real name, but the same “Dave” that I mention in the Love-Idiot book—we had to move the couch to get at her, all the while screaming at her to get her ass up here, because we had a fricassee going and nothing to put in it.
No, seriously, we were as quiet and gentle as we could be. But as cats are wont to do, she tried to run away. Fortunately, I was smarter than she was, she being just a kitten and I being an old man in my 20-somethings. So I grabbed her, at which point she attempted to scratch my eyes out. Continue reading “What’s in a Cat?”
Posted in Humor | Tagged cats, Cheech, Tessie |
By J. Timothy King on October 12, 2009
Yes, maybe Thanksgiving Comes First, but in this case, we actually do need to get started on the Christmas stuff early.
This year, as last, my church is participating in Operation Christmas Child, an annual charity drive conducted by Christian charity Samaritan’s Purse. Each year before Thanksgiving, Samaritan’s Purse collects wrapped shoeboxes, each packed with gifts, and distributes them to poor children around the world.
Last year, we sent out 61 boxes. This year, we already have—thanks to the efforts of a husband and wife team, who are spearheading the drive—numerous wrapped, empty shoeboxes, all ready and waiting for toys, school supplies, hygiene items, hard candy, clothes, jewelry, flashlights, and almost anything else we can get to put in them. We’re looking to fill 5 dozen boxes with gifts, all in time to be shipped out the week before Thanksgiving, because that’s how much time Samaritan’s Purse needs to get the presents to their young recipients by Christmas. Continue reading “Shoeboxes Full of Gifts”
Posted in Christianity, Religion | Tagged charity, generosity, giving, Operation Christmas Child, Samaritan's Purse, Zimbabwe
By J. Timothy King on October 9, 2009
… or, “So I didn’t actually expect to get my package, did I?”
My cell phone died earlier this week. In technical terms, the charger-connector-thingee broke. And that means I no longer have a working phone. Therefore, I am dying of loneliness, because I have been cut off from the outside world (except for Twitter, Facebook, email, and the entire blogosphere). So I’m sure you’ll understand, because of my extreme loneliness, why I’m justified in being so hard on the FedEx guy… But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Seized with panic at the demise of my phone, I immediately after waiting about 6 to 8 hours logged into Verizon’s website, and I ordered a new one. Simple enough, it seemed. A trés kewl model with purple highlights, a pop-out QWERTY keyboard, built-in MP3 capability, and a 2 megapixel digital camera. And I understand it can even make phone calls, too! Continue reading “Making Fun of FedEx”
Posted in Customer Relations, Humor | Tagged FedEx |
By J. Timothy King on October 8, 2009
I have up at BeTheStory.com a blog conversation with Kevin Cummings, humorist and author of the new book Happily Domesticated. We talk about his history as a writer, his writing process, and (of course) his book. He does most of the talking.
One of the things that I admire about him is that he keeps to a regular deadline, and has been successfully doing so with his blogcast for almost 3 years. I’ve never been able to keep to regular deadlines for any length of time. For me, deadlines go something like this:
- There’s always more stuff to do than you have time to do it in.
- “Well, I’ll do the best I can.”
- Crash. Burn.
So for me, the issue is prioritization and effectiveness. Schedule only the most important things, in small chunks, in order to get them done by the deadline. And I actually did that successfully during my last “normal” job, and then carried some of those practices into my consulting work, and even for limited stints in my own work. For example, that’s how I completed the first Abe’s Turn book, by publishing regular episodes. Continue reading “Keeping to Regular Deadlines”
Posted in Time & Productivity | Tagged discipline, Happily Domesticated, Kevin Cummings, productivity, time management |
